Spiral of Need Read online

  Ally might not be able to relate to his experiences in juvie, but she did know how much it hurt to be blamed for a crime she’d played no part in, to have everyone turn against her. If she were to come across someone who made her think of Rachelle, who brought back those memories, Ally couldn’t say she’d be all that happy to be around that person. And if she’d been charged with protecting them, Ally definitely wouldn’t have liked it very much. So, yes, she could understand Derren’s reaction to her.

  Careful not to unbalance the hammock, she sat upright. “I’m sorry for what happened to you—”

  “I don’t want pity,” he snapped.

  “Good, ’cause I’m not giving you any.” Anyone who could survive juvie was worthy of respect and admiration, not pity. “It’s true that power corrupts, and some Seers abuse their gifts. But the same could be said for Alphas. How many times have you heard of Alphas abusing their position and power? Or dominant wolves using their vibes to suppress and force less powerful wolves to submit against their will? You can’t tell me you haven’t known at least one person guilty of that.”

  Derren wanted to object, but he knew she was right. He simply hadn’t thought of it that way before.

  “People do shit like that because they’re assholes, Derren. Not because they’re Seers, or Alphas, or dominants. It’s all about the individual.”

  He wanted to dispute it, wanted to hold on to his anger . . . but he couldn’t. She was right again.

  Even though it wouldn’t be easy and her wolf wouldn’t like it, Ally proposed without heat, “Look, how about I stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine?”

  It would probably be for the best, but Derren knew he wouldn’t manage for long. This female drew him, was like a magnet to his wolf. He’d dreamed about her the night before, dreamed he was balls deep in her, his teeth piercing her neck, his hand clutching her breast. Just the memory had his cock hardening. Suddenly she inhaled sharply, and a flush crept up her neck and face. He knew then that she could sense his arousal.

  Ally cleared her throat. “I think you should go.”

  She was right once again; he really should. But Derren had always been a person who did what he wanted as opposed to what he should. “What does it feel like?”

  Perplexed, she asked, “What?”

  “Emotions cause physical sensations for you, right? I know you can sense that I want you.” He took a few steps toward her. “What does it feel like to you?” He knew what it felt like for him. His hunger for her wasn’t soft or tame or romantic. It was vicious, sharp-edged, and biting. It was raw desperation that had teeth and claws, and it had him in a tight grip. “What does it feel like?” he repeated.

  Like teeth plucking at her nipples, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. Then a crooked, satisfied smile surfaced on his face, and she winced. “I said that out loud, didn’t I?” His chuckle answered that. “Bye, Derren.” She thought he’d taunt her, but he turned and strode away, disappearing into the trees.

  Her wolf lay down with a snarl, no doubt intending to sulk at his absence. But even the animal understood that there was too much darkness in Derren for him to ever accept her. He wasn’t a bad person, though he seemed to believe he was. But he was misguided in many ways, broken on some level. And even if she hadn’t been a Seer, he could never have trusted her. Trust and acceptance was important to Ally.

  Derren could give her neither.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  It was dark. So dark. She hated the dark.

  Shivering with cold and fear, she shoved at the huge rocks that had tumbled down in front of her. They didn’t budge an inch. She was trapped.

  “It’s okay, Ally, we’re going to be okay.”

  No, they wouldn’t be. He didn’t understand. He hadn’t seen what she had. “We have to get out.” She pushed harder at the rocks with her small hands, but they still didn’t move. Panic filled her, and she clawed at them as she began to shiver so hard her teeth chattered.

  A hand on her arm pulled her back. “Ally, stop, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

  “We have to get out! We have to warn them or they’ll die!”

  As something wet and rough grazed her cheek, Ally jerked awake with a gasp—and realized a large black wolf was nuzzling her. Before she had the chance to push him away, he backed off. It wasn’t the first time over the past week that she had snapped awake in the hammock, haunted by a bad dream, to find the black wolf standing there. Watching over her? Being nosy? She didn’t know.

  As if satisfied that she was now fine, he loped away just as he usually did. Although she was grateful to Derren for pulling her out of the dark, she hated that he knew how damaged she was. Didn’t like that he’d seen her vulnerable.

  Although sometimes Ally managed to fall back asleep after a nightmare, she sadly didn’t manage to do so that morning. Getting up with a sigh, she filled her system with caffeine and a small breakfast.

  The past week had gone pretty much the same for Ally. After breakfast, she’d go for a run in her wolf form. Shortly after that, Shaya would visit with Willow for a few hours. At lunchtime, Bracken, Jesse, and Zander’s wolves would appear, begging for scraps. Ally would then spent the rest of the day either reading, baking, or watching TV. Then she’d have dinner before lounging in her hammock on her porch, listening to her iPod, where she’d eventually fall asleep.

  She’d often see glimpses of Derren going to and from his lodge, but he’d never spoken to her. The small amount of company hadn’t bothered her. Being mostly alone had stopped her from being bombarded by other people’s shit. It almost made her feel like a normal person. Seers would often have sensory overload, and they each had ways of blocking the world out when necessary. Listening to music helped Ally with that.

  She was so used to having only Shaya and Willow as visitors that she was shocked when Kent and Caleb accompanied them that morning. Both males were polite and friendly. Maybe because Ally relieved Willow of any discomfort each day, and they appreciated that. Or maybe because Shaya had bullied them into it—Ally really had no idea.

  In any case, the mated males then invited Ally to their lodge so that Kent could show her how beautifully he’d styled the interior. He was horrified that Ally hadn’t added any personal touches to her lodge. The fact that she was only a guest was irrelevant to Kent. In his mind, she should have put some kind of stamp on the place, marked her territory in some way. Surprisingly, Shaya agreed. But when Ally explained that interior design wasn’t really her thing, Kent begged her to allow him to do the task for her.

  So after Shaya dropped Willow off at home for her midday nap, Ally was ushered by Shaya, Kent, and Caleb to the males’ lodge to see how great Kent was at interior design. When they were almost there, they stumbled across Derren having a training session with the enforcers in a clearing. She and the others paused to watch, and Ally had to admit that the enforcers had very good techniques. When Jesse put Bracken flat on his ass, Shaya, Kent, and Caleb all winced.

  Ally, on the other hand, wanted to ask why the hell Bracken had let Jesse win. When all eyes zoomed in on her, she smiled weakly. “I said that out loud, huh.”

  “He didn’t let me win,” Jesse growled at her, rotating one shoulder.

  “What makes you think Bracken did that?” Derren’s tone was curious, not doubtful.

  “Jesse has clear tells,” replied Ally. “It was obvious by the way Bracken watched for them that he knows what they are. But sometimes he didn’t dodge Jesse’s moves, even though he’s fast enough to do it.” Recalling Shaya informing her that Jesse was still recovering from a recent illness after his wolf had hunted a poisoned animal, Ally wondered if Bracken had therefore taken it easy on his pack mate.

  “Very good,” Derren commended, sounding genuinely impressed.

  Jesse whirled on his Beta. “I won that round fair and square.” His glare returned to Ally as he sniped, “You’ve watched me fight a couple of times and now you think you know my technique well enough to
see if I have any tells?”

  “Yeah, I do,” Ally said simply.

  Jesse sniggered. “Well, if I’m really easy pickings—”

  “That’s not what I said,” interrupted Ally with a bored sigh.

  “—why don’t you come over here and we’ll have a little one-on-one.”

  “Jesse, leave it,” Derren bit out.

  But the enforcer didn’t. He shrugged innocently. “It’ll just be a friendly spar.”

  “I don’t spar,” Ally told him. “I fight—no rules, no limits, no holding back.”

  A smirk from Jesse. “Then this will be fun.”

  Derren put a hand on Jesse’s chest to stay him. “Drop it.” The words came out guttural as his wolf lunged for supremacy, wanting to protect Ally. If the guy harmed her, Derren would have to harm him in turn. Since the night Ally had given him some home truths, he’d chewed on the things she’d said, and he’d had to face that he’d unfairly been an ass to her. He knew he was irrational when it came to Seers, but it was no excuse. Like she’d said, power corrupted, but it depended on the individual and not their status.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave her banged up.” Jesse’s smile was all teeth. “I don’t abuse women. But I can tell that she’s strong. I want to know how strong.”

  Shaya turned to her. “Ally, are you sure about this?”

  “He’s not going to back down. And neither am I.” That wasn’t who Ally was. She took Bracken’s place opposite Jesse, her feet braced shoulder-width apart. “Normally, I don’t give warnings. But you really don’t want to fight me, Jesse.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because I will defeat you. I will enjoy it. And I will crush your pride, which has already taken a beating this morning.”

  His smirk widened. “Take your best shot, little Seer.” He took on a fighting stance, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

  Fighting to keep his prowling wolf from surfacing, Derren went to stand by Shaya, asking, “You’re not going to stop this?”

  She looked as anxious as him. “If I interfere, it would be the same as saying I don’t trust her to protect herself. Things are tough enough for her here as it is. She’d be respected more for rising to the challenge and losing than she would be for backing down.”

  He knew Shaya was right, knew that any interference would only serve to undermine Ally and piss her off. Even his wolf understood that, though he was too angry to settle down.

  Derren watched as Ally kicked off her shoes and stood still, alert, her eyes glued to Jesse. Then the enforcer moved, his fist flying toward Ally’s jaw as he went for a knockout punch. The move was fast and hard . . . but Ally sidestepped him, twisted her upper body, and stabbed her claws into his side. There were no fancy, practiced moves with Ally. Every punch was dirty and pitiless, and Derren saw Cain’s influence in each one. She didn’t claw at Jesse as he aimed blow after blow at her; she used her claws like they were knives—slicing, stabbing, and carving without mercy.

  A bleeding Jesse repeatedly came at her with uppercuts and impressive kicks, but she evaded most of them . . . letting Jesse tire himself out, become weaker with lethargy and blood loss.

  Derren was impressed. His wolf? Not so much. The animal was livid with Jesse, which worsened when the male delivered a hard kick to her ribs. It was—

  “Holy Mother of all that’s blue, how the fuck did she do that?” exclaimed Bracken.

  Derren had no idea, but she’d just done it again. He wouldn’t have thought it was possible if he hadn’t seen it for himself. In the matter of a single second, Ally had shifted into her wolf form, bit deep into Jesse’s shoulder, and then shifted back into her human form just as quickly. It had happened so damn fast that it hadn’t affected her clothing other than to slightly tear her T-shirt and shorts.

  In between stabbing and striking Jesse, she repeatedly switched forms for just a fleeting moment, enabling her to use her wolf’s strength, speed, and fangs. It was so shocking and distracting that it caused Jesse to make mistakes. That, together with her brutal hits and sharp reflexes, was enough to earn her dominance within the fight.

  It was only a matter of time before Jesse was pinned to the ground by a white wolf, jaws clamped around his shoulder. A second later, it was Ally leaning over Jesse. “You should have listened to me,” she told him as she rose to her feet.

  Jesse seemed to be in too much shock to feel a dent in his already wounded pride. “How can you do that?”

  “Cain said he taught you combat,” said Derren as everyone gathered closer to her, “but he can’t switch from form to form like that.” It should not be possible. Her animal shouldn’t have been prepared to pull back repeatedly from a battle like that. The wolf should have fought Ally for supremacy, wanting to deal with the challenge and danger herself. Instead, she’d worked so in sync with Ally that she shifted forms like water.

  “It works because my wolf and I are completely at peace,” explained Ally. “We trust one another. We’re a team.”

  “And your wolf respects that, and she feels respected enough to pull back when you want her to because she knows you won’t cut her out of a fight,” deduced Zander, to which Ally nodded.

  Eli puffed out a long breath, looking impressed. “Nick’s in tune with his wolf, but not to that extent.”

  “I didn’t think it was possible.” Shaya smiled at Ally. “Roni would have loved to watch that.”

  Hearing Jesse wince slightly, Ally felt bad. “I’ll heal you.”

  He shook his head. “No, I deserved that. I was arrogant, and I taunted you. But thanks for the offer. You fought well.” The other enforcers nodded in agreement.

  As their respect slid over her skin like lotion, she smiled inwardly. “If you change your mind, Jesse, I’ll be at my lodge.” She turned to face Shaya . . . only to find her way obstructed by a powerful, solid, and way-too-alluring body.

  Noticing the blood in her hair, Derren said, “You must have a bad cut on your head. Let me see.”

  She stepped back. “It’s fine.”

  “Let me see,” Derren insisted without raising his voice. “I need to check the injury. I won’t touch your skin.” No matter how badly he wanted to know how it would feel under his hands.

  Swallowing hard, she nodded. “Just my hair.” As long as he didn’t touch her skin, his emotions wouldn’t seep inside her. Although . . . she couldn’t help but notice that the brief flashes weren’t so sharp and biting today. Apparently he was in a good mood.

  As his fingers gently parted her hair, Ally’s stomach clenched as a fierce need slithered through her. It didn’t matter that he was only touching her hair. Having his body eating up her space, his hot breath on her forehead, his brooding eyes focused solely on her . . . There was an intensity and intimacy to the moment that took her by surprise.

  Derren released her hair, but he didn’t step back. He breathed her in, letting that luscious scent settle in his lungs. “It’s stopped bleeding, but it’s deep. You’ll need to clean it.”

  That was gonna sting like a bitch. “I’m going to my lodge to take a shower.”

  “I’ll walk you back.”

  “It’s okay.” She stepped away, intending to leave. “I’m—” She broke off as a strange, ominous sound whooshed through the air. “What—” A deafening, piercing boom shocked the breath from her lungs, and she was suddenly encased in heat. Flames grazed her skin as she was propelled through the air and crashed to the hard ground. She heard a crack, and quickly realized it was her skull.

  The adrenaline rushing through her helped her ignore the ringing in her ears, the disorientation clouding her reasoning, and the agony attempting to take hold of her. Her instincts told her to get up and move.

  She crawled away from the corroding heat at her back and the trees that were collapsing around her. A hand suddenly snatched her arm and dragged her forward, urging her to move faster. When the hand released her, she collapsed on her front. A face was staring into hers. A fa
ce she knew. Derren.

  He cast a nauseated glance at her back, and she wondered what he saw there. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

  Wait there? Her instincts didn’t think that was a good idea. She should keep moving, get as far away from the danger as possible. And she would have done exactly that if Caleb hadn’t crouched in front of her, asking her questions she didn’t understand—the pain at her back was so consuming she couldn’t think.

  A chorus of curses and grunts of pain was quickly followed by the appearance of several others. They were heaving two wolves along with them, one of whom was a coughing and badly injured Eli. Ally double-blinked in surprise as a body was dumped at her side.

  “Do something!” ordered a harsh male voice. Jesse. “You can save her!”

  But she couldn’t. Shaya—her body unmoving, her eyes open wide, her skin scorched and red and blistered—was already gone.

  “Help her!”

  “I can’t! She’s dead.” It was too late. Ally closed her eyes against the emotional and physical blow to her system. Feeling hands pulling on her upper arms, making frost jab her bare skin, Ally opened her eyes with a gasp . . . and found Derren standing in front of her, the image of concern.

  “Ally! Ally, answer me!”

  Instinctively, she shrugged out of his hold, escaping the chill and hunger coming from his touch. Glancing around, she saw that there was no fire. No heat. No fallen trees. The male eyes around her regarded her curiously.

  “Are you okay?”

  Hearing that familiar voice, Ally glanced at the redheaded female beside her. Not dead but alive. At once, realization hit Ally, and horror slammed into her. “Move! We have to fucking move now!” She grabbed Shaya’s arm and pulled hard as she turned and ran.

  “Where are you going?” demanded Zander.

  Without breaking stride, she very briefly glanced at him over her shoulder. “Unless you want to burn, run!” Footsteps thudded behind her as the males kept pace with her and—

  A blast of fire. A rumble through the ground. Heat racing along her back. Trees crashing.